Here’s something I’ve been watching and thinking about. A lot of people are trying to figure out who and how to be and are pissed off because they are damaged and it’s hard to overcome damage. I used to think, “As smart as I am, imagine what I could have been if I hadn’t had to deal with so much damage just to reach zero” and I was resentful. I didn’t realize that the majority of people ARE damaged, and that the damage is sort of our “special assignment”, not our “problem”. Our damage is an “and”, not a “but”.
The important lessons are pretty simple. (Not easy, but simple). You are not too damaged to learn them. Most of what we need is unlearning. If my intellect had been nurtured as I’d like in my fantasy of “who I could have been” I would probably be a hugely “successful” cold bitch wondering why I wasn’t happy.
I bring much more interesting stuff to the table with my damage and my learnings in the process of living with it and/or overcoming it. Your particular damage is your personal learning path. It’s a map to your own secret treasure. But you can’t really do much with it if you are hating it or carrying resentment toward the people who gave it to you or thinking that that you’re special and the only one who has it You have to unwrap it like a fancy chocolate, take a look at it, laugh with it and start using it. Sure your parents and your relationships screwed you up. That’s their job. (And you’re screwing up your kids. Just accept it.) Now take it on like you found it on Pinterest and create someone wonderful. Look into it. Just remember that the only way you can really use it is to take 100% ownership of it. No mattter where you got it, it’s yours now. Blame and/or excuses will stop you dead in your tracks. Most people who make excuses don’t even know it. Here’s a test: If you can’t answer a question that starts with “Did you… or Can you…” with a simple “Yes.” or “No” without any further explanation, you are an excuse maker. Stop it.
Just like everything else on the planet, this is all about loving yourself and you have to appreciate your “personality self before you can work with your core self, the self where cause and effect are you, the source self. Loving yourself is the most giving thing you can possibly do because you really can only love others as much as you love yourself.
So get your OCD, ADD, controlling, lack of impulse control, bi-polar, narcissistic, fill-in-your-own-damage-diagnosis ass off the couch and realize that most of your best qualities also come from the damage and if you use it to learn, that’s where the well spring of knowledge will be.
With love, forgiveness and gratitude.. Namaste’ my peeps.